We used to call each other Chacha. Why? Because we both love iced tea and Cha is chinese for tea.
I could still remember the first time I saw her – it was the first day of our high school life. She was one of the prettiest girls in our section but she was also the snobbiest. I said ‘hi’ to her on our way home but she didn’t even bother to look back. After that, I don’t know what happened next. I just found myself on a mutual relationship with her. Suddenly she became one of the most important people in my life. Suddenly we spent valuable times together. Suddenly we found ourselves on an adventure to get to know each other deeper. Suddenly I found myself worried whenever she gets sick and whenever she’s got problems. Suddenly we called each other ‘best friends’ and became one, too, to each other. It was all too sudden and beautiful. The beauty of things we cannot explain is the one that stays forever. Well, I hope so.
After overcoming a big heap of problems right and left, I guess our four years of friendship is worth the time we spent with each other. We had the understanding that could rival that of the understanding that sisters have for each other. She knows when I’m not feeling good. I know when she’s not okay and when she’s having a dilemma. We know when the other likes someone or when the other is annoyed. We know each other to the tiniest strand of detail left in our DNA’s.
But now, it seems like we’re drifting apart from each other. There’s a glitch that’s threatening our special friendship to just evaporate. Actually, it’s not that stupid glitch that’s threatening our friendship: it’s my freakin’ attitude that’s doing the action. I’ve done a big enough harm to break her heart into million pieces. She felt rejected and unimportant and there’s nothing that I can do to make her forget the pain I caused her.
But I miss her. I really, really miss her. Right now, I’m having a hard time communicating with her. I don’t know how I could tell her that I still love her and that she’s still my BFF. I don’t know what I could do to mend our broken friendship. I don’t want to let go of her. I just don’t want but I don’t know how.
I miss the times we hold hands and we don’t even care if we look like lesbians. I miss the times when she would write me long letters when we fight or when she just wants to. I miss her cooking. I miss having fights with her but eventually hugging each other after. I miss her wise cracks and those really useful advices she gives me. I miss spending time with her and not even minding if we don’t have anything to talk about. I miss the BFF who treasures me as hers only. I miss her.
Believe me, I really do.
